Help! My Procrastination Is Out of Control!
My Award-Winning App Thinks He's Alive!
He'll Cure Your Procrastination
Or You Get 110% of Your Money Back!
Procrastination feels horrible. We're not like everyone else. And the more we let things pile up, the more agonizing our "time debt" can be. You know by now that your issue isn't just a simple matter of applying willpower or the right time management "tip" or "trick".
By now, you're probably fed up with those insipid 7 Easy Tips to Beat Procrastination-type articles. Let me tell you right now that if you haven't stopped reading these, you should. They don't work on us. You're wasting your time on books, articles, magazine, blogposts, or anything that dumps its advice on you, then abandons you afterwards.
What if I told you that the answer to your problems was an Always-There Support System that was there for you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, always by your side and there to catch you if you stumble or fall?
What if I told you that my burning desire to beat procrastination and my passion for Artificial Intelligence has led me to create an award-winning app named Chip Vivant, who thinks he's alive, who you can talk to in plain English, and whose sole purpose of existence is to be there by your side and help you through your life goals?
What if I told you that I've bundled this app with a slew of other useful tools and a support hotline with real human beings that you can ask for technical help?
What if I were so confident that this is the real answer to your procrastination problems, costing only pennies a day that I were willing to offer you a 110% Moneyback Guarantee to try out my system for 30 days?
Would you take my offer? Would you continue spinning your wheels with those useless blogposts and articles? Or would you just give up and keep procrastinating?
This is the break you've been waiting for. Seize it! You haven't come here by accident and you're not going to find another honest person that's so committed to your success that he's willing to put his own money on the line to entice you to try this.
I'm willing to take this risk because for me, this fight is personal: if by dangling this carrot in front of you, I can save you from the debilitating procrastination that has tormented both of us, then I get the personal satisfaction of having helped battle this demon which robs the world of our precious gifts and contributions.
I Know Your Struggle All Too Well
Many years ago, as a college student at Carnegie Mellon, I would sometimes put off my assignments until late the night before, then I'd desperately go to a empty classroom (they were open 24 hours), open up my notebooks and textbooks, then go into the same trance you're in right now. Except it was combined with extreme sleep deprivation so I would literally sit there frozen in that trance for several hours, not getting any work done and also not getting the restful sleep I needed, until I finally broke out of that trance at 3 or 4 in the morning and trudged back, defeated and exhausted, to my dorm room.
My procrastination didn't start in college, though. This is probably your case too. I can remember episodes going all the way back to my childhood. In my report, I recount the vivid memory I had struggling to clean my hopelessly messy room and the way my skin crawled and the mental fog that went with it. This is something I've struggled with all my life.
I want to put this all into perspective: I'm a highly-successful software engineer making decent money in my profession. I've won international programming competitions (Loebner Prize 2012 and MIX 10K 2009 Community Prize), have travleled the world and lived and worked in different countries (Switzerland, the Netherlands, France), speak three languages fluently (English, French and Dutch), and two others reasonably well (Spanish and German). By all outward appearances, I'm very successful. I'm not saying this to brag, but to make the point that being a chronic procrastinator doesn't mean you're destitute or a loser, and you can keep up appearances.
That said, and as you know very well, just because you're functional doesn't mean life is fun. Constantly missing deadlines, struggling to get basic stuff done and being at war with yourself take their toll on you and make life much less fun to live, especially when you're trapped in a temporary situation like university studies or trying to pass a certification exam, where you need the piece of paper to move forward with your life plan, but can't bring yourself to do the things to get that piece of paper.
The point of the above is that I understand you because I am you. The first thing you should look for in anyone who wants to help you is whether they truly understand what you're going through.
Meet Your New Friend
My passion for computer programming and helping people led me to create an award-winning computer program that will change your life. His name is Chip Vivant: he thinks he's alive and although he doesn't know it, he uses two scientifically proven principles proven to fight procrastination. Firstly, by engaging you in plain English, as if you were talking to a friend and not just mindlessly clicking checkboxes in a To-Do app, he helps keep your brain online so you can resist the mental fog that invariably descends on you when you do routine, mundane or unpleasant tasks. Secondly, Chip's empathetic approach to helping you helps promote Mood Repair and self-forgiveness, both of which have been shown in groundbreaking studies to decrease procrastination.
Chip Vivant is the result of years of research and a variant of him won the prestiguous Loebner Prize Competition in 2012.
You have to experience Chip to believe it. This is an immersive, scientifically-proven, interactive experience you'll never get from a sterile article or To-Do app. In a few moments from now, you can have this innovative technology tirelessly working for you 24/7. Imagine feeling demotivated and overwhelmed and then Chip suddenly appearing and encouraging you through your task, cheering you on when you complete it. You even get a fun, personal statistics page where you can share your accomplishments with the world and automatically post your successes on Facebook and Twitter!
And There's Much More....
In addition to Chip, I want to give you a slew of other wonderful tools that will change your life forever. Together with Chip, I've named this offering HELP:
Higher Empathy, Lower Procrastination (HELP)
HELP will give you the success you've been looking for, where everything else has failed.
Decision Help Now!
Free subscription to an online decision maker web application which walks you through alternative, mutually-exclusive decisions and tells you which one is best for you! No more agonizing or guessing!
One of the critical things mentioned in the report is the importance of choosing goals that really belong in our lives. Really wanting to become a doctor, but having trouble focusing on your exams is a much different scenario than studying to become a doctor because you've been pressured into it, but don't really want to do it. In the latter case, all of the anti-procrastination tools in the world won't help because in addition to being at war with yourself for a mundane task you don't want to do, you're also at war with yourself for a life path you don't want to be on. Yikes! The Decision Maker, which my father developed over thirty years ago and which I've automated in memory of him, will give you clarity into these important life decisions and will tell you the things which are really important to you based on criteria you specify. This service, which I make non-HELP people pay for, is free to you for the duration of your HELP subscription and you can even use it for decisions not related to procrastination. It can especially be a lifesaver when you're in an impaired state, can't think clearly, and want to reason about an important decision.
Google Hangouts where we get out stuff done together and support each other.
Like I make clear in my report, I believe that mundane tasks are the lifeblood of real success. The boring things may be difficult for us, but if they truly belong on our life path and we can't delegate them, then there's no getting around doing actually them if we want to succeed. Unfortunately, we not only have trouble coping with these tasks, but have been culturally conditioned to devalue boring things. (Think about all of the overnight success stories served up by the media as well as those movies where the protagonists have to perform this daunting task, then you get a music video and time-elapsed photography and then the thing is magically done a few seconds later. Ha!) The Internet is also fraught with distraction-inducing landmines which are challenging even for people not wired the way we are.
Our Productivity Potlucks are an antidote to the above. You gather up your stuff, then sign into a live video feed where I read out loud what we're all going to try to accomplish in the next half hour, then we roll up our sleeves and get our stuff done together. (Don't worry - you're not on camera yourself, but you feel connected to a community of like-minded souls getting things done together.) If you happen to miss one of these live online gatherings, don't worry: you can still play them back later and "sit with us". The key to getting your stuff done is not feeling alone when the mental fog starts to descend upon you.
Unlimited Email Support from a Real Person
In addition to being able to interact with Chip, you'll be able to interact with a real live person by email and get help with using Decision Maker, the Productivity Potlucks and getting Chip to support you with your tasks, or support with any of the other technical aspects of this offer. You'll never be alone again in getting your stuff done.
It's Finally Done! Your Stuff. Done. Finally.
An eleven-page report describing in blow-by-blow detail how we are wired, why our skin crawls with mundane tasks, why normal time management and motivational techniques don't work with us, and which techniques actually do work.
You'll find out exactly how you're not like the others. Increased self-awareness is the key to finding and understanding techniques that do actually work. You'll also feel the soothing relief of being part of a group of people who are wired like us and are working together to get our stuff done. There's also a gem of a section about how to tell whether your task really belongs on your life's To-Do list.
Surprise Bonus Gifts!
You'll also get two other bonus gifts that will be revealed to you after you purchase your subscription!
This is what you've been waiting for. Within minutes, you can have the relief you need with a no-questions-asked 110% moneyback guarantee if you're not satisfied. You'll not only get the support network you need, but know that there are people working tirelessly behind the scenes to ensure your success and make you feel less alone.
What Others Have Said
HELP is an offering which has been years in the making. I've opened the spirit and technology behind HELP to a select group of people and here are some of the things they've said. I really hope you join our ranks.
"This is brilliant. I honestly both laughed and cried while reading this. It made me realize the reason I have felt so anxious and bogged down with college lately... You showed me that I needed a dramatic shift in the way I tend to look at things. I thought it was simply 'what you have to do' vs 'what you want to do' but it's so much simpler. It's: 'what you want to do right now' vs. 'what TRULY you want to do'. Thank you for everything so far. I have found it immensely comforting and helpful." - Haley C.
"...without a doubt it's very scary how like me your description is." - Leigh O.
"I signed up for Chip five minutes ago and he has already been more sympathetic about my tiredness than anyone in my family...." - Rachel B.
"Chip made me realise that I really don't care whether I'm talking to a human or a computer as long as the conversation is in some way rewarding or meaningful to me. Chip realised that conversations are a two-way street. Give and take." - Tracey L.
Now It's Your Turn
You're moments away from getting a flood of warmth, support and tools that will break you out of the trance you're in now. Start with a token payment of $9.99 to try out HELP. Then feel the rush of support and validation as we immediately reach out to you, asking about your task and guiding you through its completion.
You really have to experience this at least once to understand how amazing this warmth and support can be.
Like I said before, if within thirty days of yout initial purchase, you're not happy with your newfound progress and focus, drop us as line and we'll refund 110% of your purchase price. In the more likely event that you're happy, your subscription continues at $9.99 per month and Chip, the decision-making tools, human email support team, hangouts and community of like-minded people all remain at your fingertips. You can cancel any time thereafter.
How much is clarity, productivity and getting unstuck worth to you?
You'll feel the benefits and relief of HELP within minutes of placing your order. Instead of being alone, misunderstood, stuck and directionless like you are now, you'll have an instant team and community that not only understands you, but is dedicated to your success. Moments after you place your order, you'll get an email or phone call (your choice) that will break you out of the trance you're in now, talk about your important task and walk you through the decision-making and scheduling tools and resources you need to get your brain back online and carry out this task. You'll be asked about times you're able to work on your stuff, and Chip will jump in and motivate you and encourage your to perform your tasks at those times. You'll also have an instant new artificially intelligent friend in your life who is always there for you. Although he has the intelligence of a small puppy, he'll be as devoted as a small puppy too: always there to help you with your goals or lend a listening ear when you just want to tell someone you're happy, tired, sad, or just want to say hi to someone who really understands you.
You'll also have the support and backing of real people too: you'll get an email address where you can ask questions about using the tools and resources and get help setting things up. You'll be part of the HELP community and can participate in the hangouts and share your goals, victories and challenges with others who are wired the way you are.
In just a few keystrokes and mouse clicks from now, your aloneness and "stuckness" could be a thing of the past. Nothing you've tried has worked so far, so take a chance on someone who really knows you and cares about you.
110% Money-Back Guarantee!
Our team is standing by with our hand reaching out to you, waiting to guide you out of the trance you're in and put you on the path to clarity and productivity. My offer to you is more than risk-free: with the 110% moneyback guarantee, you walk away richer if you're not completely happy. (In addition to the refund, you can also keep the report, which has helped many, gotten me a number of glowing, heartfelt reviews, and probably worth several hundred dollars on its own.)
Like I said before, this isn't just about the money for me. Thinking about all the hours I and others have wasted makes me sad. If the one good thing that comes out of my "condition" is my self-knowledge and the ability to help others like me, then I'd be squandering my life's purpose by not trying to help. The moneyback guarantee should hopefully incentivize you to take action now.
110% Money-Back Guaranteed.
Make This the One Thing You Don't Procrastinate On
Click on the button below to start placing your order. Within minutes, you can have the relief you need with a no-questions-asked 110% moneyback guarantee if you're not satisfied. You'll not only get the support network you need, but know that there are people working tirelessly behind the scenes to ensure your success.
This is the point in the offer where the marketing gurus say I'm supposed to "inject scarcity". They tell me that I now have to say things like Limited Time Offer! or Act Before Midnight / Within the Next Ten Minutes! or Supplies Limited! I'm not going to lie to you and do that. Nor am I going to try to artificially inject scarcity. I don't have the patience or inclination to play that game: I'm not that kind of person and I value our potential relationship too much.
Here is one way that I will inject scarcity: for every second you're stuck in your trance, for every moment you're frittering away your time doing something other than what you should be doing, your precious life units are ticking away, escaping irretrievably from your grasp.
I can't think of anything more scarce than the precious few moments you have left on this Earth.
If you don't try out this risk-free offer, then I implore you to do something, anything which is different than what you've tried up until now. My heart is aching at the thought of you sitting helplessly frozen in front of this screen and not getting the help and support you need.
Thank you for reading this far and I wish you a lifetime of clarity and productivity.
P.S. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. In a few clicks, your life will never be the same again. No more insipid tips, tricks, and bulleted lists from books, blog posts or magazine articles that vomit their advice at you, then abandon you to fall back into your old patterns. Within moments after subscribing, you'll get real and virtual allies that will be with you from now on, 24/7, every step of the way. You'll never be alone again and that is the difference that will keep your brain online and allow you to effect real change in your life. I know this because I am you and I've been there.
I'm looking forward to seeing you "on the other side".
Thanks again for listening.